people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
