I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I cannot find my penis.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I don't deserve a penis
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
