You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
