and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
