I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize