Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
