All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He kissed a someone with a penis
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
