We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
