guys are not supposed to queef...right?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
