Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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