ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
