Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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