it hurts more in the daytime
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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