I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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