Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
