Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
