we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
