Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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