last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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