i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
