I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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