Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
