Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
