Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
