You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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