i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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