this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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