i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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