chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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