his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
