I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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