I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
