Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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