I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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