I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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