its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
