Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
