so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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