she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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