From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
