you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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