no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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