I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
