I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
