babies were throwing up all over the place
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just invented taco cereal.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
