she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
