Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
being pregnant is like rehab
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
