I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Oh god it's open bar.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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