i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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