you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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