You're completely useless in the revolution.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
