I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You're so nebulous sometimes
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize