Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You left your phone here
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